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Navigating Holiday Custody Disputes in Maryland
Living by a visitation schedule is a difficult adjustment for recently separated parents and their children. During and after a divorce, it is crucial to develop a holiday custody schedule that allows reliability for children and parents. When parents establish an agreed holiday visitation schedule, both parents get to spend time during the holidays with their children. However, unfortunately, many divorcing parents have heated disputes about holiday visitation and if not resolved quickly, holiday disputes can make the holidays difficult for everyone. Resolving Holiday Custody Disputes is something Divorce With A Plan can help you with.
Some of the most common questions we receive from divorcing parents during the holidays include: how do I establish a holiday visitation schedule? How do I ensure my children and I will get to share in the joy of the holidays and our traditions? What holiday visitation schedule can I expect in a Maryland divorce court child custody case?
Nearly half of marriages in Maryland end in divorce, and holidays are especially challenging for these families. However, setting a reliable holiday custody schedule for Christmas and New Year’s can greatly reduce the disruption of divorce and custody disputes during this time. Our Fierce Advocates for families facing divorce in Maryland have seen and helped establish many kinds of holiday custody schedules. Prior to agreeing to a holiday visitation schedule, you should consider the following issues:
- Family traditions and scheduled gatherings for your family
- Holiday travel plans and timing
- The wisdom of traveling on an actual holiday
- Potential new family traditions to begin after divorce
- The importance of your children spending time with both parents during holidays
Two Approaches to Holiday Custody Schedules
- Divide the Holiday “Days”, i.e. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
- Divide the winter break by days during the break, not just the holidays
Maryland schools release children for Christmas break days before the Christmas holiday and resume after New Year’s Day. Maryland schools also release children from school for Thanksgiving and the days following the holiday. When parents only focus on the actual holiday, instead of the entire break, they may give up more time with their children than they should in a holiday visitation schedule.
Holiday Visitation Tips for Non-Custodial Parents
It is important to carefully review your regular custody schedule and how it compares to your holiday visitation schedule, if you are the non-custodial parent, i.e. your child or children spend fewer overnights with you than the other parent. You will likely benefit from treating the holiday break as one block of time and dividing accordingly if you have Maryland standard visitation, every other weekend visitation. As the non-custodial parent, you are better served to treat the holiday break as a whole without focusing on dividing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
As a non-custodial parent, you will get more time with your child or children by insisting on visitation for at least half of the holiday break. When you have visitation for half of the holiday school break or more, you guarantee maximum time with your children without interfering with school activities or worrying about homework.
Holiday Visitation Tips for Custodial Parents
As the primary custodial parent, i.e. your child or children spend more overnights with you than their other parent, you should focus on enforcing the regular custodial schedule; whether you abide by the Maryland Standard Visitation Schedule, Maryland Modified Standard Visitation Schedule, Maryland Long Distance Visitation Schedule, or some other agreed Visitation Schedule.
As the primary custodial parent, you have most of the overnights during the school year. You have the liberty of focusing on seeking overnights and time with your children during the holiday season that means the most to you, as you will have substantial time with your child or children immediately after the holiday break is over.
Meaning: you could give the non-custodial parent more time or expand visitation during the holiday break in exchange for having the most important time with your children. For example, if your children waking up in your home on Christmas morning is very important to you, then you could give the non-custodial parent more visitation during Christmas break to secure your children waking up in your home on Christmas morning.
Common Maryland Christmas Visitation Schedules
Divide the Holiday Break in Half
One parent picks up the children on the last day of school and exchanges the children on December 24th at 6:00 p.m., at which time the other parent will have custody of the children until they return to school and the school year visitation schedule resumes. This holiday visitation schedule is not equal, as the number of days out of school before Christmas and after Christmas are typically not equal.
Dividing Christmas Holiday Only
In this holiday visitation schedule, the custodial and non-custodial parents keep their regular visitation schedule except for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. One parent has the children starting December 24 at 9:00 a.m. and transfers them on December 25 at 2:00 p.m. or another time in the morning. The parent receiving custody on Christmas Day keeps the children until the evening of December 26. Then, the regular visitation schedule resumes.
When following this specific holiday schedule, consider the weekends around Christmas. This might affect your regular visitation if Christmas or December 26 falls on your weekend, resulting in the custodial parent having the children during your usual time.
Alternate Holiday Visitation
This holiday visitation schedule is somewhat rare; however, it provides for expanded holiday visitation every other year. In this scenario, one parent has custody of the minor children for the entire holiday break or all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The exchange dates, times, and location are important to reach an agreement on in this and any holiday visitation schedule. As an example in other holidays that are given to one parent alone on alternating years, Labor Day Weekend vacation plans can be ruined, if one parent believed they had custody of the children for the entire weekend, when in fact they only had visitation for Labor Day itself.
Agreement to Work Out Holiday Visitation
Failure to plan is planning to fail. This maxim is as true in holiday visitation as it is in combat. Parents cannot simply agree to work out holidays each and every season. One parent will always feel cheated in the amount of time with their children in this arrangement and it is impossible to make plans in the future for vacations or other plans for upcoming holidays.
It’s perfectly fine to deviate from the court-ordered holiday visitation schedule if it benefits the children and their relationship with each parent. However, it’s not okay to have no schedule at all. Parents often include vague provisions like “share holidays” in a Joint Custody Plan or Divorce Decree. This non-specific language is not helpful for deciding holiday visitation schedules in a divorce or custody dispute.
The best approach for parents wanting flexibility in a holiday visitation schedule is to choose one of the suggested schedules and agree to deviate as needed. Ensuring both parents have substantial holiday time with the children. Additionally, including a mediation clause in a Joint Custody Plan can require parents to discuss any holiday visitation disputes. Professionally before filing a motion to modify, avoiding a full legal battle.
Establishing a formal joint custody plan with specific provisions for holiday visitation provides a fallback if parents struggle to agree. Parents with young children may remarry or will have to manage holiday visitation for nearly 18 years. Therefore, having a specific holiday visitation schedule protects your time with your children and helps maintain your sanity during the holidays.
Holiday Visitation with Young Children
Holiday visitation schedules for children not yet in school are more flexible since they are not limited by school schedules or winter break activities. Therefore, parents can arrange these schedules as they choose, with the family law judge’s approval for the child’s best interest. Keep in mind that young children will eventually start school. Future school schedules and obligations should be considered when creating a final holiday visitation schedule.
Protect your Holiday Traditions from Divorce
You are not alone if you are facing divorce or separation during the Christmas season. Yes, the first holiday season after separation or divorce will be tough for you and your children. However, children are very resilient and usually adapt quickly to the change.
It is important to identify and protect important family traditions for your children. You may not always be able to do activities with your children on the exact day and time you want. However, you can still continue every cherished family tradition. Take the time to ensure this holiday season is wonderful and memorable for your children. Avoid the easy road of skipping holiday events and time with family.
Instead of dreading holiday activities without your spouse, embrace the change. Let your children pick a new Christmas tree or get a live tree from a tree farm if they haven’t done that before. Take your children on a short overnight trip, as long as it doesn’t violate visitation orders in your divorce.
Moving on with life after divorce is important for your children’s development. New holiday traditions and maintaining old ones are crucial for helping your children peacefully adjust to splitting holidays between parents.
What do I do when Holiday Custody Disputes Happen?
Most Maryland divorce and custody orders include a holiday visitation schedule, detailing which days the children spend with each parent. However, when orders are vague or only state “reasonable parenting time,” disputes over holiday visitation often arise. The best first step when holiday visitation disputes arise is to look to the existing order of the Court. Often, parties forget the details of their holiday visitation schedule. Simply reminding your ex-spouse of the agreement can resolve the dispute.
However, some cases are more complicated, and parties may refuse to follow the court’s holiday visitation order. In these situations, a mediator or an experienced Maryland family law attorney may be needed to help resolve the dispute.
A skilled child custody attorney in Maryland can write a demand letter to your ex-spouse to encourage them to follow the holiday visitation schedule and avoid court costs. Unfortunately, some people ignore reason and court orders. In such cases, we can help you enforce your visitation rights or seek emergency custody if needed. Motions to enforce visitation are often heard quickly and can save you from missing holidays with your children.
Planning to Avoid Holiday Visitation Conflicts
Early planning and communication with your ex-spouse can help avoid costly holiday conflicts. If disputes arise, you can address them with a family law attorney before the holidays. Setting holiday plans ahead of time gives your children something to look forward to and reduces stress.
Addressing visitation and custody disputes before Christmas lets you explore solutions before going to family court. If both parties have holiday parties on the same date, discussing it early can lead to an agreement. This allows both parents to plan events their children can attend during the holidays.
Holiday Gifts Disputes in Divorce
Many families, especially those with means, often have heated disputes during the holidays over the gifts purchased for their children. Gifts are a big part of American holidays. Differences in parents’ ability or willingness to buy gifts can create tension during this time. We advise considering the following in determining a plan for holiday gift-giving to your children:
- Can you and your former spouse establish a gift budget for each child?
- Can you and your former spouse purchase your child’s largest gift together? This option prevents a child from receiving a Nintendo and a PlayStation for one holiday.
- Are you able to do your gift exchange together?
- Consider coordinating the gifts most important to your children to stop double purchases.
- Assist your children in creating or buying a thoughtful gift for your former spouse.
Conclusion on Holiday Custody Disputes
Holiday visitation and custody disputes can be one of the hardest parts of a divorce. But, by following the advice in this article, planning early, and taking steps to protect important events with your children. You can still have a Merry Christmas despite being divorced. Many of our clients and their children have happier Christmases after divorce, as the years of conflict often lessen or disappear.